The Jerry Martinez Show
by that psycho chic
Summary: If you watch the hilarious Jerry Springer Show, then your looking at a parody! Read in for psychotic, unbelivable, weird, shocking, and disgusting situations in the Jerry Martinez Show! *RATED T FOR BIZARRE INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT*


**Hey guys! I've noticed that there's not too many parodies on the Kickin' It Fanfiction, so I thought I'd do one.**

**A parody of The Jerry Springer Show! If you guys don't know what The Jerry Springer Show is, it's just a really crazy, hilarious inappropriate show. It contains violence, swearing, nudity- it's just a really messed up talk show. I'm not even sure it counts as a talk show...**

**Anyway, each chapter will be a different situation/segment, so none of the chapters will be connected to each other unless I plan on doing so. With that said, let this story begin!**

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"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

"WOOOOOO!" Twenty-five year old Jerry Martinez swooped down the fire pole on to the stage. The cheering of the audience members grew even louder and louder.

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

"Ayyyyy, what it do?" Jerry started high fiving the people in the first row who were jumping up and down crazily.

The cheering and screaming went on for a while until Jerry was finally allowed to speak. Even when everyone settled down and took their seats, you could still sense the giddiness and excitement.

"Welcome everybody! Isn't it a swasome day today?" He asked the crowd.

"YEAH!" The agreed and started clapping.

"Well for our guest Jack Brewer it sure it isn't."

Everyone's attention immeadiatly focused to the muscular brunette young man sitting down in the center of the stage.

"Hi everyone." Jack waved.

The audience applauded for him lightly.

"You see now Jack has something he wants to share with us." Jerry spoke. "Go on and start Jack."

"Well my girlfriend Kim and I have been dating for two years. We now live together in an apartment of our own and it's just been absolutely wonderful. Kim is everything you'd want in a woman. She's smart, funny, beautiful-

"Does she have big boobs?" Jerry interrupted with a wide smirk.

Jack grinned. "Yes, she has big boobs."

The whole audience let out a chuckle.

"So, you got a great woman Jack. What seems to be the problem?" Jerry asked curiously.

"The problem is her best friend Grace. She flirts with me nonstop."

"Really?" Jerry questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Yep. She's always coming on to me Jerry. Whether it's unbuttoning my shirt, smacking my butt, she just doesn't stop!"

Jerry rubbed his chin. "Go on."

"So one day I was alone at the apartment, then Grace showed up at the door. I tried to keep her from coming in, but she..well.. let herself in. She sits down on the couch, and I sat down too. I tried to make a friendly conversation, you know implying to her that we can only be friends."

Jerry nodded.

"But as usual she started touching me." Jack continued. "And I have to admit she was looking really sexy..."

"Where are you going with this Jack?"

"Well..I tried ignoring it but I just couldn't. One thing led to another and...I accidentally slept with her."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The audience bursted out in complete shock.

"What?!" Jerry let out surprised. "How do you accidentally sleep with someone?"

Jack shrugged with a sly smile, while everyone else couldn't even believe it.

"You don't have feelings for Grace right?"

"No of course not. It was a one time mistake that'll never happen again."

"Kim has no idea about this right?!"

"Nope. That's why I want to confess it to her today."

"So Kim's been backstage this whole time and she hasn't heard any of this." Jerry informed. "But now it's time for us to bring Kim out. Come on out Kim!"

The audience started clapping with knowing looks on their faces as a gorgeous blonde young woman came out on stage. A chair has been put out next to Jack so she could sit down.

"Hey baby." She plotted a kiss on Jack's cheek.

"Awww." Others cooed at the adorableness.

Jack fidgeted with his fingers.

"Why hello Kim! What a gorgeous mamacita you are! Woo!" Jerry fixed the collar of his shirt and started fanning himself with his hand.

Kim smiled shyly. "Thank you Jerry."

"So you may be wondering why you're here right?" He asked.

Kim nodded.

"Well..." Jerry smiled wickedly. "Jack has something he wants to get off his chest. Go along and begin Jack. Don't be shy."

Jack's right leg started wobbling as he slowly reached for Kim's hand. "Um Kim I don't know how to put it to ya but...I-I- I slept with Grace."

"YOU WHAT?!" Kim leaped up knocking over chair.

"OHHHHHHH!"

"It was a mistake, I'm sor-

"HOW COULD YOU?!" Kim striked her hand across Jack's face HARD.

"OHHHHHHHHH!" The audience became very wild. Security guards quickly rushed over toward them.

Jerry was cringing and biting his lip from laughing.

Tears swelled up in Kim's eyes. "We've been dating for two whole years and you do this to me?!"

"Kim I'm deeply sor-

"BULLSHIT!" Kim viciously slammed her fist into Jack's face causing him to topple off his chair.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Two security guards held Kim back from doing any further violence. Another security guard helped Jack up, leading him away from Kim.

"Ooo...that's gotta hurt." Jerry grimaced.

"Kim, Grace is the one that's always fooling around with me!" Jack pleaded.

"LIES! Grace has been by best friend since kindergarten! You probably forced her into sleeping with you, you dirty little PIG!" Kim shouted at him angrily.

"Now hold on just a second." Jerry stopped the two. "Grace is out backstage. Let's bring her out and hear her perspective."

"BOOOOOOOOO!" The audience rioted as a tall black haired girl entered the stage five seconds later.

"Did Jack force you into sleeping with him Grace?!" Kim instantly blew out loudly.

"No, I wanted to do it with him." Grace responded plainly and shrugged.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tears dribbled down Kim's cheek. "BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE MY BEST FRIEND!"

"Well I like Jack. Now you know." Grace picked at her fingernails really uninterested.

Loosing out of the grip of the security guards, Kim fiercely lunged at Grace and began beating the living crap out of her.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" The audience went beyond insane chanting and throwing their arms up.

Security guards were trying as hard as they could to pull Kim off of Grace. Grace tried fighting back but it was no use. Kim was like a gigantic lion while Grace was a tiny chihuahua.

Kim constantly threw punches at Grace's skull while also giving her vivacious kicks into the stomach. Security guards finally got a hold of Kim, pulling her off with great force. But as she was being pulled, Kim couldn't help but pull onto something too...

"My hair!" Grace shrieked, picking up her black wig off the floor.

Everybody was dying with laughter at the scene.

Jerry tried to control himself. "Oh I love this job!"

Blood was curdling down Grace's face, and A LOT of it. Geez she was battered up..

"I'm way more of a better woman for Jack than you Kim." She shot at her. When she talked, it appeared that Grace had several of her front teeth knocked out.

Kim was ready to attack once again, but this time five security guards held her down.

"Now do you believe me Kim?'" Jack spoke up.

Kim growled. "YOU SHUT UP!"

"Kim." Jerry went closer to the center stage. "Are you willing to forgive Grace?"

"Hell no! I want her outta my life!" Kim yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Fine by me." Grace shrugged trying to fix up her clothing, which is almost completely ripped apart.

"Now Kim, are you willing to forgive Jack?" Jerry asked.

Jack went over to Kim and bent down on his knees. "Please Kim. I'm truly sorry. I'm so stupid for doing what I've done, and the only woman I want is you. I need you Kim. I _need_ you."

Kim glared at him. "You owe me more than some crappy apology."

"I know that and I'll do anything to stay with you." Jack grabbed both of Kim's hands, his eyes very pleading similar to a cute puppy.

"I want diamonds." Kim demanded.

"Then I'll buy you hundreds of diamonds! Please Kim, I'd do anything! Heck, I'd even kiss your ass!"

A few people in the audience giggled.

Kim wiped her face, and before you even knew it a small smile formed.

"I forgive you." She said softly.

Jack happily leaped up and the two of them shared a heartwarming hug.

"Aww." Everybody cooed.

Jerry sighed happily, staring directly into the camera. Ahh, The Jerry Martinez Show. Where the most unbelievable stuff happens! WOO! We'll be right back!"

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**Haha there you go with the first chapter. I know this might seem unrealistic to Kickin' It, but hey who cares. This is FanFiction, as this story is well..FICTION. Feel free to favorite, follow, or review if you enjoyed, and I'll update soon. Byeee!**


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